Whoever said clubbing is all fun and games needs to have their craniums looked at. Yes, the main reason for getting down and low at a club until the cock crows is to have a good time. But manic clubbers, who do their thing nightly, never mind over every other weekend, will tell you it’s hardcore. The best clubs in the world are packed to the rafters on most nights so if you get that chance of a lifetime to visit any one of the iconic clubs located on Planet Earth you’re still going to need to worm and shove your way through those crowds.

The world champions of clubbing

Folks, this is where I butt in. One of the things that I’ll be doing at an epic event is making sure everything flows smoothly. It’s an art to get this right, making sure your group feels as though they have the entire joint to themselves. And even with the best bouncers around you, there are always a few off-beat characters whose primary aim is making every other fun-loving clubber’s life a living hell.

Now, for these folks, not only is all night dancing and clubbing a national pastime, for many it is their livelihood. And, boy, do I understand where they are coming from. I can relate to the passion that goes into creating the ultimate party atmosphere which often carries on in the morning sunlight out on the streets long after the club’s doors have been bolted shut. Not only are these boys and girls the proud brothers and sisters of the world’s best loved and most celebrated soccer players, affectionately and appropriately known as the Samba Kings, they may as well be the world champions of clubbing too.


But what makes these Brazilians so hardcore, bodies supple and muscled, world-weary while still finding mind-space to keep a serious eye out for dangerous, knife-wielding thugs. It could be the BJJ. Now, I know what you might also be thinking, it’s not that at all. I like a good blowjob just as much as the next guy. I’m talking about the shooter, one of the many traditional quick-drinks served at clubs around the world.

Now, the BJJ I’m referring to here is the South American version of martial arts known as the Brazilian jiu jitsu which is a lot more radical and sometimes even more brutal than the more disciplined and better known Eastern traditions. Before I head off to Rio, I’m going to have another look at this website which gives all specifications on what jiu jitsu uniforms are allowed in accordance with competition rules. I’m going to ditch the jacket for now and just go with the pants.

Get into dancing shape

It’s hot down there. So, when I’m not working I’ll be sure to show those fine ladies how my biceps are looking these days. You might also want to sign up for a class or two just to get you into shape for that next night out on the dance floor.